Romantic Infidelity Doesn’t Just Hurt — It’s Bad for Your Health

This close to Cupid’s birthday, few people want to think about infidelity. As the unfortunate among us know, being cheated on hurts.

And, as it turns out, that pain isn’t necessarily just psychological. According to a 2024 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, infidelity was actually linked to poorer chronic physical health, as measured by a list of 30 conditions, including lung problems, migraine headaches and ongoing sleep disruptions.

Cheating hurts your health as well as your (metaphorical) heart

The study, conducted by researchers out of the Singapore University of Social Science, used longitudinal data from more than 2,500 adults in the United States — 1,093 males and 1,486 females. The researchers correlated their checklist of 30 chronic health concerns with experiences of partner infidelity across two timepoints: 2004 to 2006 and 2013 to 2014.

They also looked into whether other supportive, non-romantic relationships, such as close friendships and family ties, helped to mitigate the health effects of having been cheated on, as well as how other demographic variables, such as socioeconomic status, affected outcomes.

Their results were grim, if not entirely surprising, to anyone who’s experienced infidelity for themselves: Even controlling for a wide swath of demographic variables such as age, gender, education, ethnicity, employment status and income level, infidelity was linked to poorer chronic health. Additionally, the effect was even more pronounced among minorities and lower earners.

And as good as it feels to have a listening ear, the study also concluded that positive supportive relationships did not meaningfully mitigate infidelity’s effect on betrayed partners’ health.

While we didn’t find a similar study on the health effects for the partner doing the cheating, some psychological professionals suggest they’re not much better. Todd Creager, a licensed clinical social worker who’s worked as a relationship therapist for three decades, writes that the secrecy involved in cheating can lead to chronically elevated cortisol levels and a “feeling of being trapped,” a prolonged fight-or-flight response that may weaken the immune system or lead to inflammation.

This Valentine’s Day, take care of your loved ones — and yourself

Even if this study didn’t find that supportive relationships mitigate the detrimental health effects of having been cheated on, if you know someone who’s going through it — or are going through it yourself — connecting with others at least feels like a balm. (Besides, other studies, like the 85-year-long Harvard Study of Adult Development, found that “people with strong, supportive relationships were happier, healthier and lived longer than those with weak or troubled relationships.”)

And every time of year is the right time of year to take steps to protect your physical health, regardless of what’s going on in your romantic life. The right health insurance plan is a great foundational step — and since the average Silver-tier marketplace plan now costs more than $750 per month, comparing quotes is more important than ever.

Getting insurance through your employer is often more cost-effective, but in a world with a growing gig economy, many professionals are forced to buy their own coverage. When comparing marketplace plans, be sure to filter for the providers you’re already connected to and any medications you will need continued access to. These filters will help ensure your new plan will keep you on the path of good health, rather than betraying you. (Pun intended.)

Finally, don’t underestimate the power of simple healthy living. Eating better, exercising more and staying social can all help. If you’re in a relationship marked by infidelity, therapy may help you steer to clearer waters — but considering the long-term health detriments, you might choose to jump ship altogether. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea.